The World According to Andy

Written by Andy Konsewicz


I hope everyone had a good holiday and Santa got you everything you asked for. As for me, well, I don’t think Santa really likes me. Simply for the fact that I never got anything I asked for. I understand things are also tight for Santa and maybe the Mercedes convertible was asking a bit much but a new 2010 CVO Street Glide in my opinion, not out of line. Secondly, I surprised Santa and got his picture and as you can tell by my photo, I am definitely on the naughty list.

I know you are al wondering what I really did get so I won’t keep you in suspense. The first gift I received is called a “Phone Finger”. You heard me. P h o n e F i n g e r ! !  They can call it what they want but it’s really a condom for your finger. It’s made of the same stuff a Trojan is and it rolls onto your finger same as…well you get the picture.

The other gift I received is a nice high end razor from Gillette™. I was so mystified with this product that I had to go on their web site and this is what it says:

“The Fusion Chrome Collection POWER RAZOR is perfectly balanced and weighted to feel like a natural extension of your hand, maximizing stability and control. Gentle micro-pulses help you reduce friction and increase razor glide*. The built-in spotlight, the first of its kind, reveals details normally in shadow – such as under the chin and jaw line – to help you avoid missed spots and make every stroke count. The sleek, contemporary handle is an ideal combination of ergonomics and innovative design, handcrafted in polished chrome and wrapped in a matte black, thermo-resin grip”.

You read correctly, it has a built in spotlight. Who needs a razor with a spotlight? Who is out there shaving in the dark? Randomly missed hairs sprouting from their face because the lighting wasn’t good enough to see they had missed a patch? When looking in your bathroom mirror, how much of your face in “normally in shadow”? Next time the Topcats are in the Dells or sitting outside the Holiday Inn at Little Sturgis and you hear a loud buzzing, don’t be afraid that it’s giant mosquitoes attacking, it’ll just be me shaving in the shadows!!